Time Won't Let Me
by comet80
Summary: Revised version." I'm the big screw up in our family. Well, that's how I see it. According to my brothers, I just open my mouth when I'm not supposed to and tend to say stuff I don't really mean." Sister Fic.
1. Chapter 1

_**Um, wow. I never thought I'd be doing this again. For those of you who don't remember, I once had a fanfic called **Time Won't Let Me. _**Well, a little while back I got back into **_The Outsiders** and saw the fanfic, and looked it over, and replanned it in my head. Then a few days ago I decided to write it down, and offically redo the whole thing. I still have the orginal version on the site, and if you want to read that, you can check it out. Same title, the plot's a bit similar, same characters pretty much, just a better written version, I 'd say. I should stop rambling and so um, without further ado,**_

**_Disclaimer: Yea, I own S.E Hintons works. No seriously, She's was in my attic during the whole writing process. See? My names on that one page in that teenie tiny print. You don't see it? Well that's 'cause I really don't own her works. Just a fan. _**

* * *

**Time Won't Let Me**

I ran my fingers over the dusted key's of the piano,accidentally pressing down too hard on one of the keys. The loud noise that was let out made me jump in fright. It was empty in my silent house around this time, as it was a Friday, and school was just about to be lettin' out.

No, I wasn't sick; I was on a mission. A mission to catch the phone before my brother got home. I knew the exact time the school called for absent students, and with our last name being in the C's, it wasn't too far

At exactly two fifty the phone rang, and as I predicted correctly, it was the school calling. It made little sense to me as to why the school would call in the middle of the day, as to at night,but oh well. It made it easier to erase the call this way.

I picked up the phone, not making a single sound. As soon as the monotoned voice on the other end read my name off the list, I hung up the phone. I once made the mistake of giggling, and when they found out I wasn't Darry-he's my oldest brother-I got into some real big trouble.

I checked the clock on the wall and saw that it was two fifty-five and grabbed my knapsack and headed out the door, not bothering to lock it. We never lock our door to our house; we always leave it open for anyone of my brother's buddies who needs a place to stay.

See, we live in a poor neighborhood. Most here don't got much money and nice family's and stuff, so our house is like "safe." I didn't like it so much at first, 'cause there were always random people on our couch, and it was awkward to wake up in the morning wondering who could be the guy on our sofa, but I got accustomed to it.

The only time it ever truly bothered me was when some guy from Tim Shepard's gang was over. I didn't know him to well, but by the looks of it, he wanted to get to know me. I was only twelve at the time, and it was really frightening to have a tall, hardcore, greaser staring at you. Especially one that had a record that made Dallas Winston's look like a silly time out.

He kept coming on to me, even though he was about seventeen, and I was only twelve. My guess was he was drunk or somethin' 'cause he always slurred when he was tryin' to talk to me, and he kept asking me if I wanted my muffin buttered.

I didn't know what that meant at the time; I almost said yes. But since I didn't know the guy, I was guessing it wasn't something I should say yes to. So I decided to tell him off in a tough way, the way my older brother used.

Unfortunately, the only "insult" I could come up with was the term greaser, and that isn't even an insult in our side of town. I coulda called him a Soc, but I knew it was a lie, and I'd probably be dead. He looked like he carried more than a knife on him.

Oh yeah, I don't think I've mentioned it, and if I did I'm sorry. My brother says I always am scatterbrained and forgets a lot, but Greasers are what we call kids from our side of town. The East side.

Greasers are poor, like I said. We don't have good home lives and we're just tryin' to survive in this world like everyone else. It just takes us a different way. We sometimes steal and stuff, but thats only because those prices are so high and every thing's just so expensive. We're always the ones who are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don't mean I do that stuff, my older brother will kill me. Our parents died a few months ago in some auto wreck, and ever since every thing's been topsey turvey in our house. My oldest brother Darrel,who we call Darry got to be our guardian as long as the state says. Basically as long as we don't screw up. Well, me.

I'm the big screw up in our family,well, that's how _I_ see it. Accordin' to my brothers, I just open my mouth when I'm not supposed to, and tend to say stuff I don't really mean. I have a short temper and Darry says that's just my way of getting over things.

Like, he said that my temper was how I was getting over the death, like how my other brother Ponyboy-yes,that's his _real_ name- would just go live in a vacuum for months and close everyone out of his little fantasy world.

Ponyboy is still enclosed in his alternate universe, while I still have my temper. I bet sometimes Darry just wishes the both of us would cry it out like our brother Sodapop, and then not ever mention it again.

I looked over my shoulder to see if I could see my oldest brother's car, and luckily, he wasn't home yet. I made my way to the end of the street anyways, and made sure I looked as if I were walking home from school.

Then I tripped on an uneven piece of sidewalk, and found my self sitting on the pavement. I was greeted by none other than by the hand of my best friend pulling me up.

He looked at me. "Where were you in math? Thanks to you, I had to figure out algebraic equations on my own."

I shrugged. "I was sick. Why? The teacher didn't ask did he?"

"No.."

"If he did, tell em it was 'women problems' he'll never know."

"Was it?"

"Nah, that was last week."

"Geez, you're beginning to cut as much as Sodapop did."

I grinned. That, was a compliment. Well, in my eyes.

"If you wanna talk about unruly siblings, let's talk about yours. Your sister, she's a slut."

"Hey now, she's a greaser. Nota slut."

I just laughed at him and gave him a playful shove. He returned the favor.

"You got smokes at your place? I'm itchin' to have one."

I tried to put on a serious face, but it came out all sarcastic. " If you keep smokin' like that Just, it'll give you lung cancer and you ain't gonna live to be a hundred and get that letter from the president."

My best friend raked a hand through his sand colored hair."Shoot, you know as good as me you smoke more, and besides, no one's gonna live over a hundred. It's like living until 2000 something, and the world ain't gonna be around that long."

I couldn't help but shake my head at what he was saying. It was true; I did smoke a lot more than him. I only tried it by accident once when my twin brother Ponyboy left a stick on his dresser. I wanted to know if it was as cool as people thought it was, and with just my luck I liked it.

I didn't know what he meant about the age thing, though. I mean, I knew it was possible to live a hundred years. My mom's great aunt did, at least, that's what Mom told me one time. I don't know about the president thing.

We pulled open the front door of my house, letting it fling shut. "Shit man, is Ponyboy here?" He asked me, eying the stack of books my brother left this morning.

As much as I loved my best friend to death, I hated the fact he hated my brother. Justin could not stand Ponyboy, and vice versa. They hated each other, I swear, if you left both in a room together alone for more than a day, one would end up dead.

I couldn't truly understand why they hated each other, they were more alike than they both knew. Besides the real difference where my family were pure greasers with the problems and everything, and Justin's family were just living in this part of town, they were similar.

Ponyboy did like movies and books, as did I, and Justin disliked books. But that wasn't a good enough reason to despise someone. It's something I guess a girl will never understand. It's some sort of guy hatred thing.

I went inside to my brothers side of his room and picked out the last cancer stick in the box. Guess Justin and I were sharin'.

"No stupid, it's Friday, he has some sort of track meeting after school. Coach wants to check everyones grades I reckon."

"Oh yeah, what'd ya get on your report card?"

"Dunno. Since I came late, then cut, I didn't get it. But Pony probably has mine. So, whatcha get on yours?" I asked, snatching the paper from his hands monitoring each grade. "How did you get a C in gym class?"

"Try being beat up in the locker room, and you'll know. Coach favors guys on school teams more than anything."

"I probably got a B in gym anyways. I'm terrible at any sport that isn't Volleyball. I know for a fact I failed Home Ec. though."

"How do you fail Home Economics? All you do is sew and bake cakes and be all motherly and junk. If you suck at that class, why did you even take it?"

I shrugged. "Darry's idea. He thinks it'll be a good way for me to learn my mothering skills, since Mom's not here to teach em and I have no mother around. Besides, it's like telling the social worker you don't need a mother to teach a girl how to be a mother. I really need to pass that class, but I just can't sew right, which is the only thing the teacher likes to teach." I sighed and took a drag on my cigarette. "This sucks."

Justin grabbed the cancer stick from my lips as the two of us perked up at the sound of my name being called.

"_Misty_?"

I winced. I wasn't a fan of my name, but I'm glad it is what it is. When my mom was pregnant with my oldest brother, my dad really wanted to name him something unique, but Mom refused. So Mom made him a deal that as long as she could name her first born son and daughter something "normal," Dad could name the rest of their kids anything he wants.

Mom kept her promise too. When it came time for their second child, Dad picked the name Sodapop, and Mom didn't budge. She made a promise, and stuck to it. Besides, Sodapop fits Sodapop perfectly.

When Mom was pregnant with Pony and I, the fight arose again. Dad really wanted to name me something like "Angelface Marie Curtis," but Mom was _not _going to let that happen. For the longest time she was dead set on naming me "Angela Margaret," and I'm glad Darry did what he did.

My Mom was asking my brother what he'd rather have his sister be called, and he mentioned something about this kid in his class who had a little sister named Angela. He said how the kid said the name meant "Angel" and how his little sister was the exact opposite.

Then he got distracted or something and said "Wow, it sure has been misty this Summer." Mom and Dad both liked how that sounded and put the two names together,added in my middle name, and thus, my name was formed.

Misty Summer Margaret Curtis. I cringe thinking about it. I'd go by my middle name, but I really dislike the name Margaret. So to kill myself the torture of walking around as Misty Summer, I dropped the second half of my first name.

Misty wasn't _so_ bad a name. I guess it was less original than Ponyboy, but not to the point everyone had the same name as me.

I waited for the voice to call again, and then recognized it as my brother. "Yea?" I called out to him, walking out from our backyard into the house.

"Why weren't you in first block? Mr. Syme was wonderin' where you were." Despite the grade level difference, my brother and I shared one class together: Creative Writing. His English teacher also taught Creative Writing.

"Didn't feel like goin',"I tried to reply toughly, even though I was blushing in embarrassment. Ponyboy looked at me.

"Meaning you fell asleep and missed your alarm? Does Darry know?"

"Pretty much, and nope. Don't plan on tellin' him either."

"Hey Mist where'd ya-oh." Justin came in the room, and stared at Ponyboy, cancer stick still in his hand and said to him harshly "Ponyboy."

Ponyboy looked a bit uncomfortable at Justin's arrival and stayed silent. I glanced back and forth between my brother and my best friend as Justin spoke up, "I'm goin' back into the back yard, catch you later..hopefully."

Justin walked back into my backyard as Ponyboy replied, "Does he always have to be here?"

I looked back at him lying out there on the grass and shrugged. "He's here as much as Two-Bit, Steve, and Johnny are. He's my friend, Pony."

"I know, but there's just something I don't like about him. He just doesn't seem right."

"Whatever. Did you get my report card?"

"I did. You know Darry won't like you failin' Home Economics, Misty. Neither will that social worker lady."

"I ain't gonna fail,Pone. No worries." I gave my brother a reassuring smile as he looked back at me.

"I'm going to the movies, you wanna come? That new Paul Newman movie's out."

I looked back at Justin smoking under the oak tree in the backyard and shook my head. Besides, I wasn't big on Paul Newman.

Pony shrugged, "suit yourself" and walked off.

Man, now maybe I do wish I went with him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: Yea, I can't exactly own** The Outsiders **if it was created 25 years before I was born. Just sayin'**_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 2**

I laid under the old oak tree in my backyard with Justin. I loved that tree, ever since I was a kid. It had two big thick main branches that when I was younger, had a tree swing on one branch and a tire swing on the other.

The tire swing broke a few years back, but the regular swing was still working, even if it was just a plank of wood and ropes. When I was really young it could hold both Pony and I, and we would both spend hours trying to swing our feet in unison trying to create the strength to move the swing as high as Darry could by himself.

But now the swing was rarely touched, and the tree was just used to read under, or to smoke under. Or both, which Pony has done on occasion. I don't know how, but he has.

Justin and I kept smoking a little while longer until we finished, and threw the butt out somewhere in the yard. We both were pressed against the tree not saying a word. We let the light fall breeze blow before we both dozed off.

We both awoke to the sound of an angry Darry, which was _not_ a pleasant sound. I sighed, walking into my house. I knew one of my brothers did something stupid, and odds were that Darry was mad at Ponyboy.

He was rarely mad at Sodapop, not even when Soda quit school. Soda and Darry just always got along, and it annoyed both Pony and I how if we did half the stuff Soda did when he was our age, we'd be either dead, or in some home somewhere. Sodapop just seemed to get away with things because he was Sodapop.

I stood in the doorway of our house waiting to hear what Pony did before I went to "rescue" my brother. Pony may be my slightly older brother(Fifteen minutes, big deal), and he may score higher on tests than me, but he didn't have the best common sense in the world.

Which often got him into some stupid situations. Like now, for example. I could hear Steve's voice. "What were you doin' walking by your lonesome like that?"

Ponyboy's answer was weak, and was followed with Darry's lecture about how he shouldn't walk home alone.

I stepped in, right before Darry continued his lecture. "Leave him alone, Darry. He didn't mean too, and it wasn't his fault. He was jus' walkin' home from the movies, that's all."

Darry gave me a glare. "You keep quiet little missy, I'll deal with you in a minute." I gave a glance to the backyard and gave Justin a look telling him he should probably go. We were about to get into a family fight, and I know from experience that they _aren't_ pretty.

"Pony didn't do nothin' wrong! He just walked home from the movies and was unlucky! It coulda happened to anyone of the gang! Hell, even you!"

Darry stopped lecturing Ponyboy and turned to me. "And you, how are you failing home economics? You do realize if the social worker sees this failing grade she'll take you in a heart beat."

"Quit worryin' Dar. I ain't gonna fail that class. " I kept reassuring him, but he wasn't really believing me. I didn't really blame him, I really wasn't too great in that class.

Darry's voice left "parent mode" for a minute and went to his softer voice, his big brother tone. The one I sorta remember he used to use when we were younger. "Listen, I know that might not be your favorite class, and that you didn't really wanna take it. But in order for the state to even consider you stayin' here, you gotta try and get a decent grade. Just try. But," his voice went back into his stern parent-like voice, "You do bad in any other class, and I'll skin ya." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Probably not.

He really didn't joke around much anymore. He had too many other things to worry about. Like bills. Speaking of those devilish papers, Darry was right now looking over them. Specifically the grocery bill. Apparently we went slightly over our grocery budget, and Darry was searching for things we could cut back on.

He scanned the list up and down as he made a few notes of things he thought were "unnecessary."

"Mist, you think you an' Pony could cut back on the smoking? It's costin' us money." I just shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't up to me, Pony was the one who supplied the cancer sticks. "And another thing," Darry added, "You think you can cut back on using so much shampoo? It's getting to be expensive."

"Whys it my fault? I don't see you yellin' at Sodapop an' Ponyboy for usin' it."

"I ain't yellin'. Besides, Soda and Pony don't use half the bottle to wash their hair."

"Well, Soda and Pony don't got hair to their waist, now do they?" I asked my brother in my sassy tone. It annoyed Darry when I got mouthy at him, and I think it pissed him off too.

"If that's the problem then cut it or something. Just don't use so much shampoo."

I scowled. My hair was my sensitive subject, as it probably is with most greasers. Darry telling me to cut it seemed to eat at me a lot more than it probably should. He, along with Soda, Pony, and the rest of the gang, knew how much it meant to me to keep it long.

It's rather silly, now that I think of it, to get worked up over something as silly as the comment Darry made, but I couldn't help it. I loved my hair,even if I disliked my hair color. My natural hair color is strawberry blond, but I wish it was more like my brother's. I absolutely adore my brother's hair color, as most of the girls do.

Ponyboy _is_ handsome, contrary to his beliefs, and I ached for his good looks; in female form, of course. He had green-gray eyes, more green than gray, as did I, and had silky-when it wasn't greased back- reddish-brown hair.

Someone once said that he's going to give Sodapop a run for his money one day, and I believe that. Pony doesn't, he thinks that's crazy and that no one could be handsomer than Sodapop. Ponyboy may not have the movie star looks like Soda, but in a couple years he'll be giving Soda competition with the girls.

"Geez Darry," I tried to think of where I heard that voice before, but nothing was coming to me. I know the voice was familiar, but I couldn't put the voice to a name. "It ain't her fault she's born a broad." It took a second for me to realize who was speaking, and as I looked up, I saw it was none other than Dallas Winston.

I was more surprised than anything at his sudden appearance in our household. Not because he was never over, but at the fact he was supposed to be in jail right now. He got jailed a month ago for something, and I'm not really sure why. But because he is who he is, he gets put in jail an awful lot.

"What are you doing out of the cooler, Dally?" I asked. I truly was curious as to how you can get out early. I thought maybe he escaped, and tried to picture him digging a hole in his cell with a spoon. Like people did in all those movies.

The silly thought of Dally in a striped jumpsuit and digging with a spoon was soon taken away as he proudly gave his reason. "Got out early, good behavior."

I didn't really know what to say to his answer, and neither did Darry. I didn't know it was possible to be so good in jail that they let you out early, and not making you finish your sentence.

I also didn't notice that Ponyboy was still around. I thought he and his best friend Johnny went off somewhere, possibly to see another movie or something, but I was wrong.

Johnny and Pony were best friends and fit together as well as pieces of a puzzle. They had so much in common, sometimes it was scary. They could read each other's minds, and sometimes had conversations without saying a word.

Of course, they had some major differences, besides the two year age gap. Johnny comes from a bad home, a really bad home. He usually ends up hanging around the lot or at our place most of the time, because his parents are usually fighting, and when they fight it's _loud_. It's not the fighting that bothers us, hell, we can deal with that, it's how his parents don't give a rats ass about him.

They really don't. On the days Johnny is at his house, it wasn't uncommon to see him come out with a new scar or bruise. I don't see how parents could do that to a kid, but that's probably because I had parents that gave a damn about everything we did.

We had the "golden parents" in the neighborhood. They were the ones that were always there for any of our buddies, and were the ones that only ended up on the East Side because it was the only area they could afford. They weren't like some of the people here, the ones that wasted thousands of dollars on drugs and booze and porno magazines.

They were real good parents, and I missed them lots. I missed everything about them and I was starting to get a little choked up. To keep myself from crying right then and there, I tried to focus on something else.

"Hey Dally! How 'bout you and Sylvia come with us to the game tomorrow night."

Both Pony and I eyes lit up at the mention of the game. Some of the best stuff happened during that time, and they were always a blast to go to with Steve and Soda. Even if Soda couldn't sit still very long, going to the game was the place to go and going with our older brother always made us feel more tuff.

"Can I come?" Both Pony and I asked in unison. We both really wanted to go. Our smiles turned into frowns as Steve shook his head along with Soda. "Nope, we're taking Evie and Sandy, It's a double date."

"Oh." Soda and Steve were always taking their girlfriends on double dates together. It probably came from the fact that they were inseparable, and that their girls were good friends.

I liked their girls just fine. They both were pretty nice, but out of Sandy and Evie, I'd prefer Sandy any day. Sandy was real pretty, and she and Sodapop looked real good together. She and Soda both had natural blond hair, though Soda's was more wheat colored, while hers was lighter, and she had pretty blue eyes that made her look gentle and sweet. But her laugh, her laugh was what drew my attention. It was soft, sort of like how my mom used to laugh, and was extremely gentle for a girl who didn't have the nicest home in the world.

I like to wonder if she was as reckless as Sodapop says she is. Whenever she and Sodapop come back to the house after a "wild" night, I like to think Soda was the one convincing her to join in the fun, and she would stand on the side with an embarrassed grin on her face going "Oh Sodapop, no."

Of course, that thought it probably due to the fact she and Sodapop don't talk about anything other than holding hands and kissing in front of Pony and I, and when she's over she acts all sweet and tries to get on our good side.

She does a good job at it, because I think she's the best girl Soda has ever dated. Defiantly one of the prettiest, too. I can only hope something goes right and she'll end up being Mrs. Sodapop Curtis, and end up being the sister I always wished I had-not that I'm not happy with my brothers, I am, but sometimes I think it'd be easier to have a sister when it comes to certain things.

I don't really know how possible the thought is at the moment, they've only been dating for almost a year, and they've already been in a couple fights.

I don't know if my description of Sandy fits the real her or not, because I'm told by my brothers I sometimes describe people how I _want_ to see them, and not how they really are. It could be because of my active imagination, or just because that's how I really am, but when I have a set description of how I see someone, _that's_ how I see them, and I won't look at them any other way.

That's a possible reason why I'm the only one in my family that actually likes Justin. I only saw what I wanted to see in him, and became friends with whatever I saw him as. But then, when you're five, it's pretty hard to not be friends with someone who would give you the chocolate chip cookie so you wouldn't be stuck with the yucky oatmeal raisin cookie.

"Nah, I'm gonna hunt down some action. Kids allowed."

"We'll go with you, won't we Pony?" Johnny replied. For someone who's pretty quiet, Johnny tends to talk a little more around Dally. I don't know what makes him so comfortable around Dallas Winston, but he is. Shoot, if I were him, I'd be more frightened than anything being around Dally.

Ponyboy stared at his feet before answering the question."I dunno. I'm not supposed to get in any trouble with the cops, or we'll be split up for sure."

"Who says anything about police trouble? I just wanna see a movie like the good ol' days, ain't that right Mist?"

I wait for who he said to answer, before remembering it was me. "Oh, right. Yeah."

"You're comin' with us, right?" Ponyboy asked me, as I shrugged. I wanted to go, but at the same time I didn't know if I wanted to or not. I decided to wait and see what was happening tomorrow before deciding what to do.

"Possibly. Justin and I might be going to the bowling alley tomorrow."

"You still hangin' around that kid?" Dally asked.

I just smiled as coolly as I could. "Yeah, I am."

After that event of the day came to a close, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Pony and I got yelled at to come inside, do our homework we got that weekend, ate dinner, went to bed, nothing unusual.

The following morning wasn't unusual either, unless you count being pounced on by your older brother to wake you up in the morning odd. In our house, that wasn't an uncommon sight, especially when it came to me.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!"

I groaned as the covers were whisked off me. It was only nine 'o clock in the morning, and Darry was already off at work. Sodapop came in to make sure I actually would wake up. If I was forgotten about, or not woken up, I probably wouldn't have waken up until one in the afternoon.. I tend to sleep in a lot, hence the nickname sleeping beauty.

I then went across the hall to see if Ponyboy was up. Usually I was woken up first because it was easier; I was a light sleeper, and Pony was harder to get up. When I got into his and Soda's messy room, I was sad to find he was already up-nothing is more fun than pouncing on a half asleep Ponyboy.

We all have messy rooms, Soda and Pony especially. Pony and Soda are equally messy on their own, so when Soda moved in with Pony, it was like two mini messes combined into one big one. Now sometimes I fear if I might be attacked by old underwear or something, if I walk any deeper into the room.

Ponyboy and I used to share a room, right up until Mom and Dad died. Mom and Dad never thought it was a problem that a brother and sister shared a room together, and were for it more than anything. Mom said it taught us "sharing" at a young age, and plus, we only had three bedrooms and six people.

When the social worker found out about us sharing a room, she was appalled. She said it was one of the strangest things she's seen a family do, and that she would never allow it. She said growing girls needed space and privacy and sometimes to be away from brothers.

I tried to defend myself on the situation the best I could, but Darry oddly agreed with the social worker. He agreed with her that one day in the future I'd (hopefully)have girl friends sleep over and that a growing girl needed privacy.

Which is how I got my own room. Around that time Pony started getting nightmares, so Soda volunteered to share with Pony. Plus, no offense to Darry or anything, but he's a cover hog.

It was getting a little late, and Soda still hadn't left for work yet. He was scrambling around the house searching for his shoes or something, and Steve was honking the horn to warn Soda.

At exactly nine-thirty the door was slammed shut as Soda finally left to go to work. Five minutes later the door slammed again, and in walked Justin.

"Hey there princess," he said, greeting me with a teasing grin. I returned his grin with a scowl. He knew I disliked being called princess, most people who knew me learned that early. I only let it slide with people I didn't know.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I didn't bother replying to his answer, and asked instead, "What's going on for tonight?"

"Can you keep a secret?" He asked me with a devious grin.

"Um, sure?" I didn't see what was going to be so secretive about our night. The most exciting thing we have even done worth mentioning was his five hour game of pinball at the bowling alley. He's sorta a pinball addict.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into my room, his blue eyes darting around nervously. "You ever been to a party?"

I stared at him blankly. "Of course I've been to a party, everyone's been to a party stu-" Then I knew what he meant. Not one of those silly little parties you go to, but he meant the real thing. The hardcore greaser parties, the one his sister usually hangs out around.

His blue eyes were dancing with excitement at the thought of the party, while I was full of apprehension. "Justin, I don't think I should go." I knew I wasn't aloud to go to "greaser parties," especially the real big ones. Darry would probably kill me twice if he ever found me at one of those parties,especially if it were at Bucks.

"Why not? Melody's goin', and she'll be our chaperon. Besides, I'll be there. You ain't gonna be alone, if that's what you're worried about."

I hardly considered Justin's sixteen year old sister a chaperon. She was the definition of greaser girl, and she was constantly at those wild parties. Her real name isn't even Melody, it's Melissa. From what I've heard, she got her name from an ex-boyfriend who said her voice sounded like a melody when she screamed his name in love making.

She never likes to stick to one man, and usually always goes after some of the biggest "hoods" on the East side. She's been with Dally once or twice, but that's really the only person she's been with that I know. Currently she's been after some guy from the Brumly Boys, but her heart has always been set on Sodapop.

She's practically the head of the Sodapop fan club, and is usually one of the girls that spends all Saturday morning at the DX trying to flirt with Soda. But luckily, even Soda knows she's just into him for his looks, and would never even consider going out with her.

"I ain't worried about bein' alone." I replied, "It's more of the fact I'm not allowed to go, and I can't say I'm going to the Nightly Double, because Pony's going and if I ain't there, he'll know. Besides, you don't got much to loose, I do."

Justin sighed. "All you gotta do is say you're going to the bowling alley, and get home before Soda and Darry do. Or at least by curfew. It's easy, really. But if you're too chicken..."

"I am _not_ chicken!" I protested in a loud voice. Justin shushed me as I got back into my quieter voice. "Alright, alright, I'll go with you."

Looking back on it all now, I wouldn't have done what I did. Well, maybe I would, but whatever, all I knew is that it's a night I wouldn't ever forget.

**

* * *

**

_Please review. Please? Nothing left to be said._


	3. Chapter 3

**_Before I begin, this chapter is going to be rated_ M _for mature.(or R depending on how your rating system works) However, it does play a part in the story, and a pretty important part for my character. _**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Ponyboy left an hour ago with Johnny and Dally and they went off to the Double Feature. It felt weird to not be there, and to be sitting on my best friend's couch, while his older sister stood over me painting makeup on my face.

Literally, that's what she was doing. She had a brush in her hand and was putting way to much of everything on me. She said that it would make me more attractive and all sort of junk I didn't believe.

The makeup job was trashy-like she was. It was done too thick, and I felt like a clown. Melody told me that I would get used to the makeup job, and to just ignore it. I had no other sources to use as information for my makeup job, so I just assumed she was doin' everything right.

When she finished my makeup, she started to work on my wardrobe. She told me to pull my skirt up an extra inch, and to pull my blouse down lower. I did as I was told, feeling uncomfortable in the whole process.

I never have felt completely comfortable in my own appearance, and having Melody telling me what looked "right" and what looked "wrong" and what guys "liked" made me more apprehensive. She kept telling me all about the party and giving me "tips." She was telling me what was cool, what was not, who was hot, who was ugly, who is the "best," who to avoid, and the works. I'm pretty sure Darry would disagree with all she was saying and would say she was steering me in the wrong direction.

But then again, Darry ain't here.

"Sum," Melody began, "just follow my tips and I guaranteed you'll have a great night."

Melody was one of the few people, maybe perhaps the _only_ person on the planet who called me "Summer" instead of "Misty." I don't know why she does, but ever since she found out my full first name, she started to call me Summer, which I dislike being called.

It was one of those situations where you can't change anything. She refuses to call me "Misty,"even though I tell her it's my _real_ **first** name. After a while I got used to it, and now it doesn't seem so weird.

After all the uncomfortable primping and preparing, we-the three of us- headed out the door while Melody kept going on and on about all the wonders that could happen. "If he's ugly, just say no. My best bet is going after one of 'em rough lookin' guys, they're always great. Ain't that right, Justie?" She ruffled Justin's hair.

Justin winced at his older sister, smoothing the hair back into place. He had an annoyed look on his face. "For the last time, I didn't know it was a guy, _okay_?"

"Honey, there ain't nothin' wrong with crushin' on Sodapop Curtis. He's a doll."

I could feel my cheeks getting red, but not as red as Justin's. "For the _last_ time, I never said I _liked _him, I just said he _looked _handsome. There's a difference,sis."

"Whatever, all I know is that one day Sodapop will be walkin' me home from the DX."

I didn't really know how to respond to this. I never do when it comes to people talking about my brothers in ways like _that. _I decided to play it safe. "You do know he um, he's taken right?"

She just laughed her annoying laugh. "I'm sorry dollface, didn't know you an' him was together."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I really hope she's joking. But in case she wasn't... "I don't think Soda's really into the whole incest thing. You dig?"

"Incest?" She looked confused, then went wide-eyed when she figured it out. "Oh, sorry 'bout that honey. Forgot you two was related."

We were about to walk into the building when Melody stopped me. "Don't forget hon, bigger is better." She winked at me, while my stomach did a flip-flop.

I really wish I didn't hear what I just did. "You know, I, uh, am fourteen. I don't know if I-"

"Relax kid, you'll be fine. Shoot, I was fourteen my first time, as was little devil, too." She pointed at Justin and that made me more embarrassed than ever. You just don't picture those things. It's just...wrong.

We walked into the party and the first thing I noticed was how loud the music was. It wasn't even _good_ music. The radio had some Soc-like station playin' all the hits, and some one hadn't bothered to change the station.

I didn't know what to do as Justin and Melody went separate ways, so I just sorta stood by the wall. I was itchin' for a smoke, I was so nervous. I felt around for a pack to see if I had any on me; I didn't.

_Damn you Ponyboy_, I silently cursed to my brother, not knowing what else to do.

"Hey there, girlie, want a drink?"

I looked over at the guy with the extra plastic cup of liquid in his hand. I nodded; Hell, there's nothing else to do. I took a sip, and before I knew it, I was already on my third drink. Whatever it was I was drinking, sure was good.

I lost count of my drink-it sure as heck wasn't a Pepsi- I learned that after number six? Or was it seven? I forgot. I drank more and more, and before long, this guy came up to ask me a question. "Hey princess, how 'bout me and you-" He finished his sentence with a wink, and not a word.

"Okay," I replied, clearly not thinking. I think the drink was talking for me, but at the time I didn't know what he wanted, so I probably would've said yes to anything he asked.

He pulled me to the upstairs section of the house where only the "couples" went and laid me down of the bed. "Hold tight, princess." He kicked off his shoes, and pulled off his shirt.

_Shit,shit,shit,shit,_ I thought to myself, _are you an idiot or what? He wants to do __**it.**_ I didn't reply to myself, and knew I was in way over my head. It was too late to say no now, and I knew if I did, the outcome wouldn't be pretty.

I did the only thing I could think of doing, and I squeezed my eyes shut as he pushed my skirt up higher than it was supposed to go. I thought that maybe if I kept them closed that I could convince myself it was a terrible dream and that I'd wake up and everything would be back to normal.

It wasn't working. My eyes were squeezed shut, and I knew what was going on, but the thought wasn't working. I was shaking so bad, I didn't know if I could ever stop. Whats-his-face must have noticed because he stopped for a minute. "Just relax there, baby girl," he said, trying to sooth me.

It wasn't working, and I was a nervous wreck.

Everyone I have ever known that has had sex(which is just some girls from school, really) has said how magical and how wonderful it was. What the fuck were they on? This hurt like hell. It wasn't magical, and it certainly wasn't glamorous.

The guy-I still wish I knew his name- hit something in me causing me to scream out in pain. "FUCKING SHIT!Ow! Damn, that hurts!" I winced in pain, and opened my eyes a tiny bit. It hurt keeping them shut so long.

I was disgusted at what I saw and squeezed my eyes back shut. Whoever he was must have had enough of me and stopped. He just shook his head and chuckled muttering something sounding an awful lot like "virgins."

I knew that voice. Being back into reality, made me realize that I have heard that voice before. I tried to picture the guy in my blurred vision, but he was, well, blurred.

_Damn alcohol,_ I cursed, _Ouch_. I winced in pain. They never mentioned this part in health class. Boy, was I gonna be sore in the mornin'.

I mentally forced myself to walk to the mirror in the bathroom. I once heard a girl say that you feel like an entirely new person after your first time. Staring at my reflection in the mirror didn't make me feel like a different person. Sure, my makeup was running, and I was all sweaty and my hair was a mess, but I didn't feel any different. In fact, I felt _stupid,_ foolish, horrible-if it means bad, you know it's how I felt.

I touched the features on my face. The person in the mirror looked like me, but it couldn't be. The person in the mirror was disgusting. _I_ certainly wasn't disgusting. Then, reality hit. The person staring back was me, and I didn't like it one bit.

I found myself in almost a moments notice, with my head in the toilet, puking up everything in my body. I don't know if it were an act of the alcohol, or of my disgust in myself, or both. When I finished I stared back into the mirror, and still wasn't pleased with myself.

I heard a pound on the door and quickly flushed the toilet, scampering out of the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of the guy pounding on the door and felt my heart sink as he spoke to me. "That bad, 'ey princess?"

I knew I knew that voice. I knew I knew him from somewhere. I blinked, trying to figure out who that was.

Oh, shit.

I just had sex with one of my brother's friends. And shit, as my memory came back in the bits and pieces lost, I realized I just fucked Curly fucking Shepard.

I didn't know what to do, all I knew is that I just wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up in my bed, or on the sofa and just not face reality. Reality being I just did _it_with some guy that hangs around with Ponyboy.

I feel sick.

I quickly walked back into the main room scanning for Justin. I found him somewhere, I can't remember where exactly, and pulled him towards me. "Hey girl, there's plenty 'o Justiecakes to go 'round. Wait 'er turn."

He was borderline drunk.

"Jus'in" I hissed, not realizing how drunk I really was. "Hey, hey Jusssin!"

He turned around, and met his drunken eyes with mine. "_Missy_?"

I nodded, and I know I must have looked desperate. "I want to go home."

He could see the tears forming in my eyes, and drunk or sober, I knew he couldn't tolerate crying girls. He didn't hesitate in griping my arm, walking me out of the building, and down the street. We hit the street before mine when I lost it. I broke down, and confessed everything.

"Jussin," I cried out, "Me an', an', we-hic-,we-he-I swear!" I was bawling buckets. And to say Sodapop's the bawl baby.

He tried calming me down. "Explain again."

"I-it was an accident! Don't tell Pony, _please_don't tell Pony. Or Darry. Or anyone from that matter."

He stopped in the middle of the street, and stared directly into my green-gray eyes, "Misty, tell me. What happened?"

I twisted a lock of hair nervously while I felt myself going weak. "Me an', me an'," I stuttered the first half before Justin slapped my back, as if to get the rest out of me. "Me an' Curly Shepard did _it_!" I cried, completely ashamed.

Justin looked at me funny, as if to say 'that's it?' He was about to on about how it wasn't a big deal when I spat the rest out to him. "I,I-Justin, that's my _brothers_friend! They hang out together, and tha's like, _ew_! Can you imagine how the conversation could go? 'Yea, I nailed your sister' Can you imagine what could happen if Darry finds out? What about-" I gasped at a horrible thought. "I could! Oh no, Justin, I'm too young! I can't have-!"

He rubbed my shoulder trying to relax me. "It's alright, you'll be fine. So," His eyes narrowed in their slits and he grinned deviously, "How was it?"

"That's the worst part!" I cried out, "I-I didn't even _like_ it!"

He just chuckled at me. "Maybe you're a queer or somethin'."

I rolled my eyes; I wasn't in the mood for jokes.

He let out a sigh as we reached my house. "You're home. Go to sleep now."

I got home before Soda came home from his date, and I didn't even bother to look at Darry. I was too tired, and I curled up in my bed, falling asleep. I heard some loud noise later that night, like Darry screaming, but I couldn't tell if Darry was screaming, or I was imagining it.

I heard a door slam, but I'm pretty sure I dreamed that. Of course, I quickly learned the next day what really happened.

**

* * *

**

**_Eep,_** **_this chapter marks the beginning of "Misty's downfall" and was sorta fun to write. And so you know, this marks the beginning of a very "unique" sisterfic._**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you so much for the reviews! It's really made happy to know you all like my story 8D, and the amount of people who've read the story(or clicked on it?) makes me giggle when I see it :]_**

_**Disclaimer-Um, Sorry. Just an eighteen year old senior. I don't own **The Outsiders** plot, and I probably never will. Unless S.E gives me the rights to her story as a graduation present? ..No? Yea, Like you'd want a crazy lesbian owning the rights to a classic novel. Might make the characters gay or something.**_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4**

I woke up the next day late in the afternoon. No matter how much fun parties can be, hang overs literally _suck_. When I pulled myself out of the bed, I was surprised to see that I was dressed in my night gown, because I don't even remember changing my clothes. I guess one of my brothers-probably Soda, helped me.

I staggered into the kitchen where I was greeted by my brothers. Darry was sitting at the table sipping coffee, and for some bizarre reason Sodapop was sitting _still_ on the sofa. He didn't even have the tv on.

I looked over at my brothers curiously, trying to find what was wrong. Then I noticed there wasn't Ponyboy around.

"Where's Pony?" I asked, immediately regretting what I said.

They both ignored my question and pretended it was never asked. "Mornin' Missy." Darry greeted, setting a plate of eggs in front of me.

I was startled at the fake cheerfulness. It wasn't weird that Darry called me "Missy,"my brothers almost always call me that, nor that Soda called me "Sunshine" (which I have to admit he rarely calls me now), they just seemed so cheesy.

Darry folded up the newspaper and was about to set his plate on it when something grabbed my eye. I pulled the paper from under the plate, turning straight to the headline on the front page.

_**DELIQUENTS WANTED FOR MURDER**_

I raised an eyebrow at the headline and continued to read the article.

_At approximately 2:15 A.M this morning at Tulsa Park young Robert Sheldon was murdered. According to local witnesses he was stabbed._

_"We were just talking a quiet drive in the park, and out of nowhere hoodlums came and attacked us." Says an anonymous source._

_The police have detected three possible suspects for this terrible tragedy: Seventeen, Dallas Winston; Sixteen, Johnathan Cade; Fourteen, Ponyboy Curtis."_

I scanned the rest of the article, getting more and more appalled. "The fuck?" I shouted to no one in particular. I looked over expecting Darry to warn me about my language, like he normally does when I swear.

He didn't, and I started taking my anger out at everything. How could they do this? I may have not been there, but I know damn well my brother didn't murder this guy. Pony could hardly fight a guy, let alone kill him; and Johnny, he couldn't say "boo" to a goose. But then again, if something provoked him well enough...

As for Dally,I dunno, he probably could kill the guy; I just don't know if he would.

How could they do this? I looked down at the paper. It was all lies, I knew it. Of course, no one would ever believe our side, which is probably the truth. Thanks to some guys, my family might be split up for good.

Thanks to some asshole in the next month I could possibly be waking up on the West Side, or maybe not even _in_ Tulsa. I could be in a place hours away from home!

I knew I was over reacting to the situation, even if it could possibly happen. I was extremely angry at the Socs for putting in those lies, and possibly ruining our lives. I was angry at the world for doing this to me, and I was angry at myself for having a headache.

I didn't know what else to do, and I was still pretty tired, even if it was two in the afternoon. I decided to go back to sleep and I didn't end up waking up until early the next morning.

It was six in the morning, and I wasn't a morning person. I was awoken by the sound of Darry calling for breakfast, and the unnatural silence of my house. My house wasn't normally so quiet, and with out Ponyboy here, the quiet seemed to grow.

I pulled myself up and out of bed walking into the bathroom, tripping on my way into the shower. "Damn shower," I muttered, stubbing my toe on the edge of the tub. So far this day was goin' great. I dropped the bottle of shampoo on my foot, the _same_ foot I stubbed, ran out of shampoo halfway through washin' my hair(maybe Darry _was_ right, I did use lots of shampoo, but I wasn't ever gonna admit that too him), couldn't find my sock until twenty minutes later, and to top it all off, my breakfast got cold.

These were all minor problems to me, actually. The biggest problem I was stuck on was how alone I was going to be. I don't like admitting this, even if it is true, but I can't get along without Ponyboy.

It sounds silly, but going into school without Pony at my side, terrifies me. I have never been to school a day in my life without having Ponyboy to walk beside, or get crammed next to in Steve's car. Most people don't know this, but I am pretty shy when I'm not around my brothers.

I sat on the front porch waiting for Two-Bit and Steve to pick me up, like they normally did. Usually while I waited I'd talk to Ponyboy or rather, talk his ear off about something he probably didn't care so much about. But I didn't have anyone to talk to,Soda and Darry just left for work, and Justin never rode with us, unless it was a do or die situation.

I never walked with him anymore, either. Ever since his sister got her license last summer, she would always drive him to school. I was invited, but she drove wilder than Soda and Two-Bit combined. Trust me, that ain't a safe situation.

I didn't have anything else to do, so in the five minute wait, I separated my hair, tying it into loose pigtails, and started to day dream.

I was almost taken away into the thoughts, but Steve's obnoxious horn cut into them. I quietly picked up my bag and walked over to the car, getting in. I sat quietly in my seat, not making a sound. I think Two-Bit and Steve were a little uncomfortable at my silence, because I heard one of them say something about it.

Two-Bit even tried to make me laugh,but it wasn't working. I needed Ponyboy; I ached for Ponyboy.

"Kid, you alright?" Steve asked me. He might not be so big on us when we tag along, but he _does_ care about us. Most of it may be because we're Soda's kid siblings, but deep down Steve Randle does care about us. Plus, if he don't, he has to face an angry Sodapop, and it's worse than an angry Darry.

I nodded my head, I didn't want them to think I wasn't. Two-Bit had a bright idea and decided to say something he _knew_ would make me talk. "Maybe her '_friend_' is in town?" He replied with a grin. He knew I can't _not_ reply to that.

"Nah, he's out for a while." I replied, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"She speaks!" Two-Bit cried out, imitating Shakespeare. I think his English class was still stuck in the Shakespeare Unit.

"Ha. Ha." I said sarcastically, becoming nervous as I grabbed my things getting out of the car.

I felt all eyes on me when I walked into the school. I could hear the negative whispers behind my back and pretended to ignore them, rushing into my first period of the day.

I got a lot of stares walking into that class too. I quietly walked to my seat, sitting down. I didn't dare make a sound, and I didn't want to be noticed. I wanted things to be normal again, and to have someone to talk to in class.

I didn't pay attention in class that day, I really tried. Everything was way to distracting, though. It started when Mr. Syme was going over papers we turned in last week.

"Most of them were pretty well written, however, many of you need to work on your gram-" He was interrupted by a knock on the door. The principal was standing in the doorway.

If Pony were here he'd give me a funny little grin and tease me in a very Two-Bit manner asking what did I do this time to have the principal come all the way to our class. I never really did anything in school that could get me more than a detention, but my brother still liked to tease me about it.

But he wasn't here, and the principal wasn't coming to take me down to the office. He started talking to Mr. Syme, and started to motion towards a figure standing in the hall way.

It could mean one thing: a new student.

She entered the classroom, and while most didn't seem to pay any attention to her, I did. She brought in this vibe that just made the room feel a bit more cheerful than it was. Of course, she _was _smiling, which probably helped.

Mr Syme grabbed his role call sheet, and scratched the girls name down on the list. "Lets see, Miss Cross, you can have a seat right next to Miss Curtis." He pointed to the seat next to me, as the girl in the green dress sat down.

Before he could say another word to her, she pulled out her notebook and began to scratch something down on the paper. Great, she was one of those goody-two shoes girls. She finished scratching down something on the paper before folding it in half, and tossed it onto my desk when Mr. Syme wasn't looking.

I picked up the piece of paper and read the message.

_Hi._

I didn't normally get notes, and if I did a majority of them were from Justin, or some guy who was bein' funny or something, and was trying to pick me up. I normally didn't reply to notes either, especially when people I didn't know sent them. But she was different, maybe she didn't know about the social classes and wanted to talk to someone, or maybe she just needed to know something that was too embarrassing to ask a teacher.

Mr. Syme wasn't doing anything except talking about grammar, so I pulled out my pen and replied to her message and tossed the note back on her desk.

She just smiled at my one word response and wrote something back.

_Is this all he does in this class is lecture?_

_No,_ I wrote in my scribble handwriting, _most of the time we do writing assignments or talk about meanings of poems and stuff. We hardly never do grammar._ I handed the note back to her and watched her grin at my response.

_Good,_ she wrote in her well written cursive,_ because I can't stand lectures, or grammar._ She looked up from writing, thought a moment, then put her words on paper. _You got a name?_

I silently laughed to myself. If she was a boy, I coulda swear she was tryin' to pick me up or somethin'.

_No_, I wrote on the paper, biting my grinning lip. _People just kinda call me 'hey you' or my personal favorite, 'smart ass.'_

She laughed, or was trying to avoid laughing, because her hand was covering her mouth. She knew I was joking, and at the moment I wish my parents _did_ name me something as stupid as 'hey you' just so I could be like, "yeah, thats my name."

_Well then, 'hey you',_ I read on,_ my name's Dani. Don't be fooled by the people calling me Diana, because that isn't my name. Well, it is, but only my momma calls me that. Everyone else calls me Dani. You know, the same name as 'Danny', but with out the 'Y'._

_So, do you go by anything else? No offense or nothing, but 'hey you' could be a lot of people._

_Yea,_ I wrote,_ I gotta name._

She got annoyed at my response, I could tell. Most people do get annoyed when I don't tell them my name. I mean, I know my name's not as original as Ponyboy, but people still think it's weird.

_What is it?_ She wrote, _I promise I won't laugh, if that's what you're worried about._ From her response she probably thought my name was an old lady name or something. Maybe something like "Janice" or "Gertrude" or something my mom's grandmother would be named.

_You can just call me Misty,_ I wrote,_ everyone does._

She smiled and wrote the last line of the conversation before the bell rang. _Care to sit with me at lunch?_

I didn't have the chance to reply as the bell rang. I gathered my things and entered the hallway to walk to my next class. I felt the eyes on me again, and walking down the stairs to the greaser area of the school didn't help.

Some guy I didn't know draped his arm around my shoulder and grinned. "You, uh, you uh, shoot, what's his name? Pony-somethin', anyways you his sister?"

I nodded, carefully pushing his arm off me, staring at his crazy grin. "Tell him good job, finally puttin' those bastards in their place."

I nodded quickly, and kept trying to make my way to my class. I kept getting applauded by some rough greaser boys I didn't know, and one or two of 'em even asked me out. Shoot, even Darry didn't have to tell me twice to stay away from them.

It kept happening all morning, and it drove my history teacher crazy. She was an older woman, who probably would rather have a class full of Socs, than to be teaching history to a bunch of greasers. Even though I was really good in history, I still got put in the lower level class, where mostly greasers were placed in. Unfortunately, this one had a lot of the ones who didn't care about doing anything.

She and I never got along so well in the first place, and now she despises me. I think maybe she taught Sodapop his freshmen year, because she's always comparing me to my brother in a negative way, and I'm pretty sure Darry wouldn't be in a class like this, and I know Pony isn't.

Before long I got out of her class, and it was lunchtime. I was greeted by Two-Bit and Steve waiting for me by the lunch room.

"Comin' for lunch, girlie?"Two-Bit asked me, like he did everyday. I normally always went out for lunch along with Pony,Two-Bit, and Steve. Most greasers don't eat in the cafeteria, but for some reason today I really wanted to go to the cafeteria.

It was probably the invite to sit with Dani that did it. I was never really asked to sit with someone at lunch, not even Justin. He liked to sit with some of his guy friends that I didn't really know, nor did I want to know.

They were all _to_ rough for me. Call me sissy, or girly or whatever, but they were some of the guys you didn't want to get stuck in a rumble with. They were all obnoxious and loud during lunch anyways, and well, lots of their conversations didn't really include things I could participate in.

Before I could even stop myself, I gave a prompt"No" and they didn't flinch. They probably figured I had lunch detention or something because usually when I say no, it's because I _do_ have lunch detention.

It's because my history teacher doesn't believe in staying after school. She says she's not going to waste her hour after school to watch a "twisted child" and not get paid for it. I like to wonder why she became a teacher.

Both of them shrugged, and it only took a minute before they were out of my sight. As soon as they left I opened the cafeteria door slowly. I don't know what made me so nervous about this, but I was. I was in school, not about to walk into Rusty's or something.

School was supposed to be safe, right? So I didn't know what I had to worry about. I took a step into the cafeteria, and nothing happened. No one stared at me, no one made any notice of me, I looked like your regular kid going to get a crappy lunch.

From across the room I saw Dani give a wave at me. I blushed, and started to make my way towards her table.

I felt as if I were the only one in the room, and I walked so slow and got to about five feet away from the table when I felt a hand slide around me.

"Hey _grease_." The cold voice said to me, as I shivered, stopping in my tracks. I was hoping that maybe Two-Bit was behind me, teasing me. I hoped he forgot something and was just messing around. "A little out of your territory, eh?"

I winced as another guy gave me a hard clap on the back, and I heard a squish and laughter. His friends soon joined him and gave me a smirk. "Your brother the one that killed our friend?" He asked, and I didn't dare make a sound.

"_Did he?!_" He shouted at me, and I could only reply with a slow nod of the head. "Well then, we don't like _greasers _who mess with our buddies."

"Yeah!" I would have laughed at the guy's small group of buddies answering for him, but, this isn't a laughing matter.

"We gotta teach 'em a lesson, ain't that right boys?"

"Yeah!" The same guy replied.

I squeezed my eyes shut. They could kill me. They could kill me right here and no one could do a thing about it.

The guy pulled out something, and even I knew it couldn't be a blade. Guys just never used blades on girls, it'd mark them lower than dirt, and then all their buddies would hate them. But then again, I wasn't just anyone. I was Misty Curtis, sister of Ponyboy Curtis, friend of Johhny Cade, main suspect for killing Bob Sheldon..

_Please help me,_ I prayed as I felt a warm substance go over my head. _Please, Darry, Soda, anyone, help me._ I tried my best to not whimper or let out a cry, and that was probably the hardest thing to not do.

One of the guys, who ever he is, is my newfound hero. "Guys, let her go, she's pathetic."

I _was?_ But then I thought of how I must look in that situation, and felt a wave of relief and embarrassment when I was put to the ground.

Before anyone could say anything I picked up my bag and ran. I ran out of the cafeteria, out of the school, and all the way to the DX station. I don't know why I went there, but it was the place my legs brought me to.

I walked into the building, the little bell ringing above the door. The manager looked up at me. "Bathroom's for paying customers only."

"Please," I panted, getting out of breath, "can I speak to my brother?"

"Randle ain't in today." He replied bitterly.

"_No_," I whined, man I must have sounded desperate. "My brother's Sodapop. Curtis." I added in case he didn't know who I was talking about. I don't know how he couldn't, how many Sodapops do you know that are runnin' around with with kid sisters named Misty?

"Alright, alright, just wipe yourself up there kid, you're dirtyin' up ma floor."

I was? I looked around at the floor seeing a pool of red. I panicked thinking it was blood, then remembered I wasn't cut or anything. Besides, it looked to chunky to be blood. It was tomato sauce?

"Hey Curtis!" he shouted to the back room, "Got a girl sayin' she knows you?"

I saw my brother's excited brown eyes light up as he came to the front of the store. His expression changed as he looked at me. His expression turned from happy to disappointed to a confused one.

He was angry at first also, until he noticed my tear streaked face.

"Misty, what happened?" He asked concerned, coming out from behind the counter. He pulled a piece of spaghetti off me, throwing it in the garbage can.

I didn't respond, and stared directly at the floor.

"Curtis!" His manager barked from the back, "You can leave now if ya want, I can handle it till Randle gets in."

Normally Soda wouldn't get off early if given the chance, but things haven't been so normal lately. To say the truth, I think I was the reason Soda was getting off early.

Soda just let out a sigh and took another look at me. "You want me to take you back to school or-" He saw the back of me and shook his head, muttering something. "-Never mind. Come along, Mist."

Sodapop picked up my backpack, clocked out, and grabbed my hand as we walked home from the DX. I felt like I was four instead of fourteen, and I was wondering why he was holding my hand like when he used to have to walk me and Pony home from school.

When we got inside the house he dropped my backpack on the floor and went into the bathroom to grab a towel and ordered me to sit on couch. It was weird to see Soda so strict like this, and I don't think I have ever heard his voice in this tone before.

He sighed again coming back in with the towel and started to rub at my hair. "Missy, how did you get spoiled milk in your hair?"

I bit my lip, I really wanted to avoid the story. Soda stopped rubbing at my hair and looked in my eye. He knew I had a story to tell. "Out with it, Misty."

I took a deep breath, starting with what happened this morning. I didn't mention how I hardly knew the girl, I just made him think it was Justin or something, or maybe one of my school friends that don't exist.

He muttered "damn Socs" as I felt him pulling at my hair.

I froze when I felt him undoing my pigtails. He knew I didn't like people messing with my hair. "What're you doing, Sodapop?" I snapped, and he gulped. I could tell he didn't want to tell me something when he started to say my name all gentle.

"Misty, Sunshine, sit tight for a minute okay baby girl?"

I knew something was up that he didn't want to tell me. He stopped calling me Sunshine after Mom and Dad died, and this is the second time since their death he's used the name. Soda started to call me Sunshine when I was pretty little because of the lullaby Mom used to sing to me and Pony.

From the story I was told it started when Soda was three and I was one, and Mom was singing that song to me while changing my diaper. Darry was at school and Soda was watching Mom change me, and from what I was told I smiled at Soda and he looked at my mom and said something along the lines of "Like sunshine, right Momma?"

Momma thought that was precious and just grinned at Soda, kissing the top of his head. When I was six Mom mentioned this to Soda and I absolutely despised that name. I didn't think the name was tuff, and when Darry and Soda found out, they used that name to tease me with.

Darry eventually outgrew the tease, but Soda didn't. For the longest time he would tease me with that name, and then it eventually turned in to something he called me when he was worried or something.

Then Mom and Dad died and he stopped calling me that altogether.

My eyes widened with fear when Sodapop came back into the room with a pair of scissors. "No sir re, you ain't gonna touch my hair, Sodapop Curtis."

"Missy, did you feel someone touching your back?" I winced, remembering the squishing sound when the guy slapped my back. Oh no, it wasn't, he didn't...

Soda guided me to the bathroom mirror and lifted up the locks of hair so I could see them in the mirror. My lips started to quiver at the sight. Right in the middle of my hair was the sticky pink substance of doom.

I bit on my lip so I wouldn't cry. "If you _fucking_ touch my hair with those shears I swear I'll-" I didn't get to finish my threat as Soda rubbed my back to calm me down. He ignored my swearing, like he normally did and continued to calm me down. He wasn't afraid of my threat, he knew I was trying to act tough and wouldn't ever really do anything.

I bit on my lip harder as Soda raised the shears towards my strawberry blond locks. I squeezed my eyes shut tensing up as he made the first snip. I shuddered. _I fucking_ hate hair cuts, and I wasn't just saying that. I truly did.

I started to hate them when I was about four years old, and I don't remember why. All I know is that it has something to do with an aunt I don't see anymore.

It took Soda a good twenty minutes before he finally put the scissors down. I wanted to ask him what took so long, but I didn't. I released the bite from my lip and open my teared eyes. I didn't dare look in any direction except straight ahead, and bit on my lip again as I ran my fingers through my butchered locks. My lip quivered again when it stopped way shorter than expected.

Soda rubbed at my shoulder and gave a satisfied grin at his work, before turning to comfort me. "Don't cry Missy, it'll be alright. It don't look so bad, looks kinda tuff."

I didn't reply to Soda, even if I knew he was probably right. Instead I asked him a question. "Do I gotta go to school tomorrow?" Man, I felt like such a little kid.

"I'll talk to Dar about it."

"Don't make me go back there, Sodapop." I whined. Man, did I feel like a little six year old trying to cut her first day of Kindergarten.

Soda ended up convincing Darry to let me stay home from school until this situation died down enough. He didn't completely make up his mind about it, until he heard the story at dinner and saw the damage done to me.

It wasn't my hair that convinced Darry,he could care less about that(though I think now he's glad I won't waste so much shampoo), but it was my emotional state. I was jumpy, I was jittery, and I was so unlike myself it worried them. I only ate half my dinner before heading into my room.

I knew staying home tomorrow meant I didn't have to go to bed early, but I did anyway. I felt there was nothing else to do, and besides, I needed the time to myself to think about how messed up my life has been in these three days.

Three days ago, everything was fine.

Three days ago, Ponyboy-shit.

Three days ago, my life was turned upside down, and I didn't think it could get any worse. Glory, I wish I was there now.

* * *

**_Whoohoo! Writing a ten page chapter on the night where I probably should of been at Senior prom. Yea..you can tell my fandom means to much to me when i skip high school prom to write. (or ya know, you can say Comsie's to lame to go to prom alone, and her girlfriend couldn't come anyways. Which ever you like to hear. The second one is the hard truth, unfourtantly)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Um slight warning 'cause the F word is used multiple times. Justin's a potty mouth :)_**

**_Still don't own them..._**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

When I woke up the next morning, Soda and Darry were already at work. There wasn't much to do at ten in the morning when you're home alone on a school day. There wasn't much on tv, and I didn't want to read, since I read everything in the house already.

I decided to do the one task I had been dreading to do. Gripping on the edge of my knee length night gown, I staggered myself to the bathroom mirror. I decided to see the damage done to me. I turned on the bathroom light and studied the damage done to my once long locks.

They were gone. It was practically all gone. Soda chopped of a majority of it, and what was left only fell a little below my shoulder. It was bothering me more than it should, but it was something I had to let go. But Soda was right, it was tuff, in it's own way.

I sighed. Nothing I could do now. I shut off the light and sat back down on the couch. I tried to kill time by thinking _good_ thoughts, but that wasn't so easy. My mind started to wander to Ponyboy, and I lost it again.

I thought about going out to buy some more cancer sticks, but I didn't. Darry said to not leave the house if I wasn't going to school, and besides, I didn't want to get dressed and walk there alone. Walking alone at the moment, really freaked me out.

I didn't have much to do alone in the house, and I wondered why I wanted to stay home. Then I remembered what happened, and felt glad to be at home. The next few hours went by slow, and I didn't have much to keep me occupied, except Algebra homework, and that can only keep a person occupied for so long.

Right before I finished the last problem, the doorbell rang. I knew it wasn't someone from the gang, and my first thought was that the lady from the state found out what happened and was here to take me away before I even got dressed.

I walked over to the door, and opened it. "Lordy girl, what'd ya do?" I sighed with relief when I heard the voice of Justin.

I gave a small smile to the one person I knew wouldn't walk out of my life. "It wasn't me, Soda cut it."

"Lordy, why would he? Why would Sodie do such a thing?"

I chuckled a bit, Soda wasn't too big on Justin calling him "Sodie." I think the term was used by girls mostly. "Because...because.." I let out a bit of a sigh, "'cause Socs are stupid. Well, I guess not seeing as they know greasers all find hair important to them." I felt my cheeks go red and my vision to start blurring.

"You are _not_ going to start crying over a silly well-needed haircut are you, Misty? 'Cause that's just fuckin' pointless, even for a broad."

"What're you talking about?" I demanded; I was starting to get angry at Justin. We'd been fighting more than usual. We were starting to get on it about little things now, and this is how most of them started.

Justin and I were in a rough patch with our relationship. Well, that's what I call it. Truth be told, ever since Justin turned fifteen last June(he started school late, _not_ held back), he's been acting real different.

He's been a lot rougher, and spent a lot more time at parties than he used to. He's been tagging along with his sister more, and I think he's even followed in his sister's footsteps by getting a girl pregnant. However, that's just a rumor.

"I'm talkin' 'bout you being a whiny baby all the time. You keep cryin' all the time and you're always depressed and talkin' 'bout pointless shit."

I was starting to get hacked off. "You'd be upset too if your parent's _died_. Imagine waking up one day in the middle of the night to find out your parents won't be home. _Ever again_. Then a day later you're told you might not be allowed to _live_ with your older brother because he ain't a woman and therefore can't 'raise' you properly."

"That's what I'm talkin' about! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's upsetting to have your parents die, but that's the thing. It's okay to cry the first month or so, but then, just let it go. It's done, you can't change the past."

"_Maybe_ if you _had _real problems in life other than what whore to fuck you'd understand! Jesus Justin, grow up or somethin'."

"_Me_? You want _me_ to grow up? I ain't the one who comes whining every _day _about something pointless." He began to mock me. "'Oh, Oh Justin,this sucks, I miss Mom 'n' Dad. Oh, Oh, Justie, it's horrible, Darry yelled at me, yesterday all cause I didn't'-Who fucking cares?! Misty, who do you think would actually give a shit that maybe Darry forgot to pay one bill, or that Sodapop's a goddamn drop out, or that fucking Ponyboy got a fucking C minus on a report. Who do you think actually cares that much about your brothers?"

"I dunno, _me_? And when are _you_ going to learn that the world ain't a big fuckin' fairytale, and that God don't like us on the East Side?"

Justin let out a big sigh, and from the moment he started speaking, I knew something was going to die about us. "What the fuck? Girl, what the _fuck_ are you talking about? It ain't my fault your family's so fucking goddamn poor. It ain't my fault that Darry works at a fuckin' labor hell hole and has no life. It ain't my fault that Sodapop's some fuckin' gas man and is a freakin' drop out and that Ponyboy-God, Ponyboy. It ain't my fault Ponyboy's a fuckin' self absorbed brat and can't walk home from the freakin' movies with out getting jumped by a lot of God danged Socs. It ain't my fault Pony's so freakin' STUPID to-"

I was seeing red. No one insults my brothers and gets away with it. "_Stupid?_ You did _not_ just call _my__** brothers**_ stupid."

"Sorry about that." He replied with a smirk. "I meant to say _they_ aren't just stupid, but morons, idiotic, and a bunch of _greasers_."

The last word had the biggest effect on me, even if it _was_ true. I had no words to say, so I kicked Justin in the shin.

He stared blankly. "Are you actually trying to _hurt_ me? 'Cause it ain't workin'."

I kicked him in the shin again. "I-I can hurt you if I _wanted_." I replied with a hint of a lie in my voice.

"With what? You ain't got no blade on you. If you did, you'd never use it, Misty Summer."

"I SO would!" I protested, even doubting myself a little. "I could hurt you if I wanted to. My brothers-"

Justin rolled his eyes and sighed again, purposely to annoy me. "Again with your fuckin' brothers. Blah,blah,blah, your brothers ain't gonna do SHIT. One's too worried 'bout loosin' ya, one's too stupid to, and the other? He's just to scatterbrained to hurt someone. Face it, your brothers ain't gonna do JACK! Ow! The fuck?" Justin shouted, as he started to whimper a little.

I felt some guilt, but mostly a powerful satisfaction. I could now see what Pony meant by Justin not seeming right. Suddenly everything my brothers said about him seemed right, and I seemed so stupid to not see him as he truly was. I know that kicking Justin in his, ehm, places, wasn't the best thing to do, but it felt...good.

When Justin finally managed to get to his feet, he balled his fist and swung, hitting me in the eye. I let out a slight gasp, and a moan of pain. I forgot Justin _could_ actually punch, and was surprised at how hard he did. I fell back a couple feet, and I didn't get up.

I could feel my heart tearing apart when I looked at him with eyes as if saying _what did I do?_ His eyes replied with an unfamiliar icy glare and a small fraction of hurt mixed in. I didn't want to get up, and even if I did, I knew I couldn't.

I blinked before looking over at Justin one last time as he walked out the door. "How did we get this way?" I said quietly with the softest voice I'd ever heard myself speak. I waited for him to turn around, apologize like one of the many fights we've had but, he didn't look back at me, and I didn't blame him.

My eye was swollen, this I knew, but I didn't do anything about it. Instead I leaned my head against the wall and let tears escape my eyes.

I was loosing everything. My dog, my mom, my dad, Ponyboy...now Justin? Everything and everyone was leaving me.

My world was crashing, but I wasn't a wave; I was drowning along with it.

* * *

**_Im sorry if the updates are getting slow, school's ending, and it's the senior year stuff. But i'lll try my best :D_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Sorry for my updating gap? No more school means no excuses. Plus I'm not in writers block anymore. Yay! Lucky you?_**

**_Disclaimer: Okay, seriously. Is any of this in the book? No? Thought so. Just a fan of Susie, she didn't give me anything._**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

In these past few days, I was dying. As soon as Justin left, I mentally broke down and began to cry every tear that has even been held inside of me. It bothered me to know someone I _trusted, _someone who was my _best friend_, just told me off and was causing this heart break. That was a nine year friendship that went to waste. I cried harder thinking about how much we went through, and wondering how much he lied to me.

I wondered if he even told the truth from day one. 'Cause seriously, what kid _likes_ oatmeal raisin cookies?

Justin and I met on the first day of kindergarten. I was five, he was six. It started off in the morning. Mother was primping Pony and I for the first day of school, like any mother would. She was going on about how her darlings were growing up so fast and the usual mother talks.

She kept talking about the joys of school and how much fun we'd have, and the normal stuff. I wasn't paying attention, I was watching the chipmunk outside trying to hide from our seven year old dog, Ollie.

After Mother finished talking she pulled out her camera and we all groaned. She started with pictures of her oldest son, going on about how it's his last year of elementary school and how soon he'd be in junior high and before she knew it, all grown up.

Darry was scowling when Mom was telling him the plan for lunch. He was to pick Pony and I up from our half a day kindergarten class when his class got out for lunch. Luckily, lunch and kindergarten release were at the same time.

"Awe Ma. Why can't Sodapop do it?" Darry complained.

Mom shook her head, while Dad laughed from the kitchen. "Because Darrel, you and I both know if I let Sodapop take Pony and Misty home from school, they might not _get _home. Besides, we both know Soda isn't old enough to come home from lunch yet. He's only in the second grade. You know our rules."

When Mom finished Darry's picture, she moved on to Soda, and before Mom could say anything else, both my older brothers were out the door, meeting some of their neighborhood friends on the way to school.

After Mom spent a good ten minutes capturing her 'babies' on film, she handed us our metal lunch tins and knapsacks,grabbed our hands, and walked us all the way to kindergarten.

When we reached the door, the teacher was waiting with a big, fake, grin on her face. "Hi!" She said in a chipper voice. "What's your name sweetie?" She asked, bending down to my level. I stood there for a minute, not knowing what to say. A little while ago I got in trouble for talking to a stranger.

Mother gave me a small pat on the back, urging me to speak to my teacher. I took a breath and answered in my shyest, sweetest voice, "Misty Summer Curtis." I gave her my toothless grin-I lost the tooth the month before eating an apple- to show her I was serious about my name.

She gave me a small smile in return, "That's a pretty name, sweetie, and is this your brother?" She asked, pointing at Ponyboy.

I tried not to be mean to her. Of course that was my brother, how could anyone not see that he was my brother? I wanted to tell her that, but I knew better to not say something like that in front of Mommy, so I just gave her my toothless grin again and said promptly, "Yes, we're _twins_."

She did a fake gasp and smiled again. "Wow, _twins_? I must be a lucky teacher to get a pair of twins in my class. What's your name, cutie?" She asked Ponyboy.

Pony didn't answer her; he was busy chewing on his fingernail. Mother pushed him forward and forced his fingers out his mouth, urging him to speak. He took in a breath before letting his tiny voice say his name. "Ponyboy Curtis."

I watched her expression grow amused and hide a giggle. "That's an...original name." She replied. She told us her name was Miss Jane, and then told me to sit at the table across the room. I looked over at Ponyboy a bit unsure as he was told to sit at the table across the room from me.

I tried not to let out a cry and just sat at the table as quietly as possible. Pony and I were always together, no matter what we were doing. I let out a small sigh and grabbed the coloring sheet in front of me.

Miss Jane instructed us to color until the rest of the children got here. I looked over at the girl beside me who was busy coloring the printed picture pink. "Hi." She said with a smile on her face. "I like your dress, and your matching bow. It's pretty. Pink is my favorite color."

I just said a polite thank you and pulled out my new lunch tin. It was neat looking, I thought. My aunt gave me and Pony one as a 'going to school gift' and they were both Disney themed. I opened the metal box, not caring that it wasn't lunch time and looked for one item.

I gave a big pout not being able to find the chocolate chip cookie I wanted, and was upset at how Soda or Darry or Pony took the last one. I crossed my arms against my chest and let out a loud "hmph."

The boy across from me looked up from his coloring and watched me. "What's wrong?" He asked.

I gave a big frown like it was the worst thing in the whole wide world. "My Mommy musta gave my brother the last chocolate chip cookie. All I have is oatmeal raisin, and I _hate_ oatmeal raisin."

The boys face perked up. "Really? Cause I _love_ oatmeal raisin cookies. My sister took the last one, and so I got stuck with chocolate chip. You wanna trade with me?"

I nodded handing him the package with the pastry inside as he gave a goofy grin. "M'names Justin. Wanna be my friend?"

I gave a big nod, biting into my cookie. "I'm Misty Summer, but uh, call me Misty."

The two of us became inseparable ever since.

Until today, that is.

I didn't even notice my brother coming in as I was still laying on the floor. I forgot all about my black eye for the moment I was in my thoughts.

Until that is, Sodapop came in. I don't know why he's been getting off so early lately and I didn't want him to see my eye. I tried to hide it behind a book, but Soda may not be book smart, but he can pin point a black eye from across the room.

Soda came straight over to me with a unusual look in his eyes. It was something I'd never seen him look like before, but I just chose to ignore it. I figured he had a rough day at work and that everything was going to be fine in the morning.

"Hi Sodapop." I greeted as casually as I could. I hid my eye behind the book so it looked like I was reading.

"Hey Missy." He replied back. He knew something was up, and I waited through the dreaded silence for him to ask the question. He took another look at me before the question was asked. "What happened to your eye?"

"Nothin'." I replied, even though he knew I was lying. He gave a sort of _I know you're lying_ look and I let out another lie. "I tripped, and fell on my eye."

He thought this lie was even crazier. "You can't fall on your eye, Missy. Did someone punch you?"

"I already told you, I _fell_ on my eye. I was walking, tripped, and landed on my eye." I didn't want Soda to know the truth, I didn't want myself to know the truth. I thought that maybe if I lied to myself, I really would believe I fell on my eye.

Of course one can only lie to themselves so much.

Out of the blue, Soda said something I thought he would never say. "Did Justin punch you?"

I froze at the thought of being hit by my ex-best friend. I really wanted to say 'no' but before I could stop myself I spat out, "How did you know?"

Soda shook his head and let out a sigh. "We know a lot more than you think about that boy. He's a pretty rough kid, Missy, and I knew sooner or later you'd get hurt. You ain't the only one. He's got some sort of issue with his anger or somethin'. Melody's always tellin' me 'bout his latest fight or somethin' when she wants to grab my attention an' I've learned pretty quick about how he really is."

"You talk to Melody?" I asked. It never occurred to me that they spoke to each other. I thought she would flirt with Soda and he would just ignore her. But then again, I just saw a side of Justin I never thought I'd see.

"Yeah," Soda replied, "we talk. Not a lot though. When she's not tryin' ta get at me, she can be an okay girl."

My eyes went wide at the thought of Soda thinking she was an okay girl. I was hoping he didn't mean he liked liked her. Having Melody date Soda? That's just too weird a thought. "You like her?" I decided to try my rotten luck.

"She's a nice girl an' all, but I wouldn't do nothin' with her. She just ain't my type."

I sighed with relief, and started to wonder just _what_ they talked about. I never thought of my brothers to be the type to talk about me behind my back.

"What do you guys talk about?"

Soda shrugged. "Mostly she grabs my attention when she starts talkin' 'bout how Justin beat up some kid or somethin'. He may have been all nice to you, but Melody tells me he can be a real pain sometimes. Of course, then she goes on about how proud she is of her little brother going at it with a broad."

"Do you ever talk about me?" I wondered.

Soda was about to tease me but stopped and stayed serious. "Sometimes. But not as much as Justin. That kid is all she ever goes on about. She's mighty proud of her little brother, for all the wrong reasons. Unlike me and Darry."

"You're proud of me?" I asked. "What for?" I knew Pony was the one to get all proud about. He was the one in the family actually _going_ somewhere. Unless this whole murder rap thing swallows him whole.

"'Cause you're Missy." Soda replied. "It takes guts for you to be who you are. You don't seem to get bothered by the way people think you are, and you don't seem to care what people think. Pony too. You guys have a lot more pressure to go through than Darry and me did in high school. Not only do you have to worry about grades an' crap, but when they slip you not only have to deal with Darry, but with the state too. Something Darry and I never had to worry about."

"Oh."

"Yeah, now go put somethin' on that eye before Dar gets home."

"'kay" I replied getting a frozen bag of vegetables from the freezer. My mind wandered to what Justin said that night at the party.

"_Maybe you're a queer or somethin'"_

"Hey Soda, if I don't like boys, does that make me a queer?"

Soda looked at me a little strange. "Shoot, you're too young to be thinkin' 'bout boys 'n' stuff anyways. 'Sides you 'n' Pony are probably just late bloomers."

"But what if I was a queer? Would you and Darry still love me?"

"You'd still be our baby sister, queer or not. We'd still love you, it's just be harder for us to understand what you're going through." He saw my worried expression. "But no, we ain't gonna be one of those families that kick the person out. But the chances of that happening are one in a million, Missy. Don't worry none. You just haven't found that boy who sweeped you off your feet yet. You're still young."

He turned over the bag of frozen veggies and then went to cook dinner. I didn't have anything left to say and just sat in the silence. After that conversation I just didn't feel like talking anymore and stayed silent for a good while.

I stayed silent for the rest of the day and well into the next day. Darry looked at me funny at dinner, staring at my eye, but I knew Soda would probably tell him later. He usually did. I didn't make a sound, and I didn't feel the want to. I wanted this all to be a dream, and to wake up tomorrow with Ponyboy by my side, and Justin to invite me over, and everything to be all better again.

My disappointment got the best of me the following morning and I awoke with the reality that Justin was not going to make up, and that Pony might not come back. The silence was my only escape from reality, and I didn't want to go back.

I ignored Darry's question if I wanted breakfast, walking past the food and straight onto the sofa. Darry was running a little late this morning, and I didn't even bother saying 'goodbye' to him, as he left. He said something to Soda before he head out the door, but I ignored that too.

I didn't bother turning on the tv, nothing was going to be on anyways. I just sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the wall. I don't even remember even _doing _anything, but just staring. It felt like the hours went past, and I could feel time staying still.

Darry came home from his first job at noon, and he was annoyed at me still sitting on the same spot. "Did you even move from that spot, Misty?" He asked, receiving silence from me, and a shake of the head from Sodapop.

He was rather annoyed as he went to take a shower to get ready to go back to work. He worked both jobs today, and was rather stressed about it. He stared at me, then at Soda before speaking. "Hey Soda, I gotta work a little late tonight, mind running to the grocery store for me?"

"Sure Dar. I'm off today."

"Thanks little buddy. The list is in the kitchen, and don't forget to take 'er with you." He pointed in my direction, then grabbed his keys and left for work.

Soda looked in my direction then outside at the sky. It's been on and off raining all day, and right now the sky was pretty clear. Soda looked back in my direction from staring out the window. "C'mon Mist, better get goin' now before it starts to pour. Go get dressed real quick."

I didn't budge. Soda sighed. "Come on, Misty."

I still didn't make a sound as Soda was getting a bit angry. His moods weren't like his normal self lately. I wonder if it's cause of Pony. "Misty Summer, get your butt out of that chair and get dressed."

He sounded a lot like Mom when he said that, which is weird because Soda is never strict. I still didn't move, and when he got fed up with my stubbornness he grabbed me by the ankles, and dragged me on the floor to my room. Usually when he or Darry did that, I would screech with laughter. "If you ain't gonna act like you're fourteen, I ain't gonna treat you like you are. Now are you going to get dressed, or do I gotta stand and watch you like you're four?"

I still didn't make a sound as I followed his directions, picking out an old t-shirt and jeans from my closet. They were clothes that were hand me downs from Ponyboy, but I didn't mind. I only wore them around the house and when I wasn't in school.

"You ready now?" He asked, not even reminding me about brushing my annoyingly short strawberry blond hair.

I nodded, and the two of us head out the door and went off to the grocery store. All the way he was trying to get me to talk or to laugh or do something. I didn't change my facial expression from the blank look I've been wearing for the past few days.

He was going to lose it, eventually. I know he would.

When we entered the building he seemed pretty desperate to get me to talk, or laugh, or smile or somethin'. Usually going to the grocery store with Soda always made me laugh or crack a smile; how could you not? He was always doing out of the ordinary stuff at the store, like the time he ran into a tower of cans while walking on his hands.

Soda was just naturally silly, and all the serious and silence in the house this past week was going to drive him crazy. Not to mention I think I heard something about him and Sandy breaking up. I dunno though, it's probably nothing big.

For the longest while in the store Soda was trying to get me to say something. He would try and fail in many different ways. He started off by whispering to me rude comments about the people shopping. It usually did work, but it wasn't going to today. I don't think anything could get me to speak.

Halfway through the trip, I ended up wandering off away from Soda, walking down aisles and aisles of crap. I don't know what brought me into this row, but the lady on the shampoo bottle was making me angry.

She looked like Ponyboy, if that makes any sense. She had his hair color, and I don't know if it was my mind going crazy, or what, but I saw too much on Pony in her, and in return I pushed down the bottle so I wouldn't have to look at it.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and slouched down walking out of the row of products. As I began to look down, I felt the clump of my tangled, unbrushed locks fall over my swollen eye and just sighed.

I really despised the new haircut Sodapop gave me. It always fell out when tucked behind my ears, and never cooperated properly. It was really going to bug me in the future, but there was nothing I could do now, I just had to get used to it. That, or pull my hair back every day until it grew out.

I was still mentally cursing at myself for not bringing a hair tie when I heard a voice call out my name.

"Misty!"

I turned my head around, expecting to see my older brother waiting for me, but was taken aback at who I did see.

It was Dani, the girl from my creative writing class.

"Hi!" She greeted, as I replied with a shy wave. I could feel myself really wishing I had that hair tie now, or at least brushed my hair. She gave me a smile, and I could feel my stomach flip-flop. I don't know why she was giving me this emotion. "Why weren't you at school?"

I gave a slight shrug and before I could stop myself, I let my voice speak the words I was thinking. "Why aren't you?"

She smiled back, and my stomach did another flip. "So you _can _speak."

I grinned for the first time in what felt like forever. "Yes I can. Why aren't you at school?"

"I was at a funeral for your information. Did you go?"

I shook my head. Who was it the principle announced had a funeral today? Oh yeah, _his._

"Why not?" She asked. "Even I didn't know him that well and I went. It's a terrible thing, really. I hope that jerk that killed him gets a million years in jail, you know?"

My mood suddenly turned to angry. "Well maybe _that jerk_ had a good reason."

"I don't care what his reason is, he killed an innocent person and should be punished."

"Maybe he was trying to _save_ _my __**brother's**__ life, _so he wouldn't drown to death. _He,"_ I could never say that boys name again. "and his buddies were the ones who were drowning him. The only way for him to live was for Johnny to kill him."

Her expression changed immediately. "Oh my gosh..you're..he's..Misty I'm so sorry. I didn't realize your brother was that boy. Ponyboy right? Is that why you're not in school?"

I nodded, as she kept on apologizing.

"It's alright, you didn't know." I said quickly as she stared at something behind me.

"Who's that guy?" She asked, as I felt someone getting closer to me. I quietly turned around to see who it was. It was just Soda.

"That's my brother."

"Oh. Well, it's been nice seeing you. See you on..."

"Monday?" I question to no one in particular. "If not then next week some time."

"Okay! See you next week then." She waved bye to me and I felt myself redden.

"Who was that, Missy?" Soda asked. He seemed in a better mood, maybe it's because I was talking again.

I smiled shyly. "Just a friend from school." And at that moment, I was beginning to think what Justin said at that party was right.


End file.
